This week we reconnected with the first friends we made after arriving in the US. Our friendship is 44 years young. It took a few seconds and tight hugs to transport us right back to our fresh-off-the-boat camaraderie.
Tarun and I arrived in Iowa City a few months after M&S. We lived in adjacent buildings in a sprawling married student housing complex called Hawkeye Court. The apartments have since been demolished. In its place, stands modern housing for new generations of students. In a heartbeat, we rekindled our memories of life in our old apartments.
M and I were undergrads in the Computer Science program at the University of Iowa. Her husband, S, was doing his PhD in Journalism and Mass Communications while Tarun was working on his in Business.
I first met M at the “Cambus” stop where the brilliant yellow and black buses that ferried us between our apartment and the campus arrived every 30 minutes. I was incredulous at how cool Iowa was in the fall compared to the sweltering heat we had left behind in India. Talking to M gave me immediate warmth - we were close in age, both of us were from India, her mother and my father were doctors, the two of us were the only daughters in our families. She had survived one winter and gave me hope that we would not freeze.
Tarun's first salary was a few hundred dollars a month. With the stipend we paid for our apartment and utilities, groceries and out-of-state tuition. That is worth about 2,000 USD today. Not trivial but not a windfall amount either. The four of us furnished our apartments with things others discarded, just like all of the other residents in Hawkeye Court did. When Tarun and I chanced upon a sleeper sofa that an outgoing resident left behind, we were beyond thrilled. What a find! Except, we couldn’t budge it, let alone lift it.
Despite our adventurous spirit and gusto to pursue academic endeavors in a far away country, Indians are awful at physical labor. Awful as in we have no muscles, no strength, no will, no power whatsoever! It took two burly residents (not Indians!) to deliver the sofa to our flat. We cheered as if that helped lighten their load.
M&S similarly picked up big things, little things and kick knacks to make their apartment a cozy haven where friendship transcended the brutal weather.
All four of us made a living in various ways - as a grad assistant, receptionist, working in the hospital laundry and at the university bookstore. That made it easy to pay for our tuition and left us something for fun. Back in the day, the highlight of our lives was going to Godfather’s Pizza for a large pie and a pitcher of chilled beer. When we were short on funds, M&S took us out and we reciprocated too.
Our cars were epic. Tarun and I had a mint green ‘74 Chevy Impala with a white top and M&S had a brown ‘72 Ford Maverick. These behemoths were rear wheel drive and had a unique set of problems. The dominant memory about our car is when I drove it, I knew where the front of the car was, I had no idea where the back was! In the winters we kept cinder blocks in the trunk to keep the car from fishtailing. Our car had a fuel flooding problem to boot. If we didn’t hit the accelerator at the right time and with the right pressure upon starting, it would flood the engine with fuel. That meant climbing on the engine (literally right leg on the engine), sticking a knife into a compartment to let air in so the car would start.
M&S had a little girl while we were in school. What amazement that offered. Us kids were having kids! We all stumbled along with academics, work, keeping house and managing a baby. M&S left Iowa City a few months before we did. As we saw them depart in their chariot, I cried because I didn’t know how to do life without them.
They moved to Ohio and we moved to Virginia. While we raised four kids between us, Tarun and S climbed the academic ladder and M and I handled corporate America. Our kids grew up and are thriving in different parts of the country, all of them have a vibrant idea of our Iowa roots from the many stories we have told them. Now our kids have kids and we are thunderstruck by the speed with which the years have flown by.
We talked about heart troubles, creaking knees, fading hearing, medications, exercise regimen, spending habits that irk the other half and the personality traits that have not changed an iota. We reminisced about the culture shock of arriving in Iowa - a name with so many vowels! We remembered the t-shirt sold at the university bookstore that said "University of Iowa, Idaho City, Ohio.” That reassured us that we were not the only ones confused about these places. We laughed till our sides hurt.
Here’s to old friendships that have such tensile strength that we can pickup at light speed and to new friendships which enrich us daily. If you haven’t reached out to dear friends in a while, there's no better time to send a text, make a call, or stop by to hold them tight because few things are more rewarding than these heartwarming reconnections.
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